Its the Eurovision Song Contest tonight! And when all those generals and suchlike were signing the Geneva Conventions.. I bet they never counted on the form of the actual peaceful union on Europe. Oh yes, there's the politics, there's war crimes trials, and important public monuments to atrocities. Those venerable peace brokers could never in a million years picture how much silver lame would actually be involved. Eurovision. Such a grand, futuristic name. And they are far ahead the formation of the EU - Turkey's been in it for years.. I think much of the former Yugoslavia gives it a go at belting out cheezy pop numbers.
If you are tuning in tonight, the best part is the voting. You see its a system of phone votes, just like Big Brother, but you are barred from voting form your own country. Brilliant! So all these ancient politcal relationships come out in the voting, which has absolutely nothing to do with the song quality. England always gives the most votes to Ireland (to make up for the potato famine) and Ireland gives them a token amount of votes in deference to being neighbours but never as many (they haven't forgiven the generations of oppression). Greece votes for Cyprus (asserting sovreignty). Sweden and Denmark have some kind of contra deal going (so long as its Nordic, I guess). Germany votes for Poland and France (yeh, we're sorry about that whole invasion thing), and I don't think Germany is ever allowed to win. During the Balkans war everyone voted for Bosnia&Hertzogovina (you poor shelled bastards, maybe winning Eurovision will cheer you all up).
So here at the house of fun, we shall be attempting a web-cam telecast. Don't hold your breath for it to work, mind you. We shall be scoffing Euro snacks and Euro beer, and trying to quell the self-hatred of the antipodean, temporarily transformed into citizens of a continent with many nations, many languages, many cultures. Wishing we'd realised that's precisely what the indigenous people had going here before those anglo-saxons barged on in with their starchy food, monoculture and crap telly. For 3 hours we will dream of one world, many people, united in a love of glitter, bad frocks and incomprehensible lyrics. Viva la difference!
So old-skool internet users you can look me up on MSN messenger.. bsharp A.T. scientist D.o.t com. Or skype-y types, try my real name (gasp) in Sydney, Australia. See ya later heavily pixcellated, maybe.