31 August 2004

Pokies, man.

This article appears to be the NSW State:
a) reassuring NSW "clubs" that they can still make money from their poker machines
b) explaining that "clubs" that make less than one million dollars ..assume Dr evil voice.. from them will actually pay less tax than they were before [this is a good thing????]
c) and listing the hundreds that earn over $1M who will pay more tax

And the federal government:
a) asserting that the increased "pokie tax" has cost thousands of jobs already [it was only introduced last Wednesday]
b) predicting that people will stage mass protests in Hyde Park against the pokie tax

Hello? Is any one out there? Is anyone awake? Like, what , all those people who flock to mass entertainment venues, (they're not clubs in the old fashioned sense of dib dib dib anymore I do declare), for the extremely cheap drinks, bodgy djs and seafood basket specials, actually *care* about what the the club pays out of its pokie profits. Right on, get out there and march against the man, taxing those good, pure, true and honest "gaming" dens. Fight the power. Huh?

The old argument goes that clubs put money into the community and this will reduce that amount. Snort snuffle snorlte. I 'm sure all my dear readers in this state will have difficulty reconciling the crowd huddled a those machines having much use of the sports field that the local league club recently re-seeded, or whatever it is they're supposed to have actually done. Has anyone seen a direct report of one of these mythical community projects by the way?

30 August 2004

A spot of..

Yesterday I discovered possibly the worst example of crack-addled thinking to emerge from that mire we call "marketing". You may be aware of that the humble sanitary pad has an adhesive strip on one side. This is simply to keep the thing stuck in your knickers, (don't panic any boys reading this I promise not to mention any bodily functions). Anyway, to expose the gluey bit one peels off a piece of paper not unlike those on the flaps of the more expensive line in business envelopes. One brand which shall remain nameless has decided, no doubt after a brainstorm by some marketing genius living in Double Bay, to adorn this piece of paper with what can only be described as "trivia". Each strip has approximately 8 items on it, reminiscent of the bit of paper inside your hat in a Christmas cracker, of the following calibre:
  • The King of Hearts is the only king without a moustache
  • The largest number of children born to one woman is 69 in Russia
  • The average human will drink about 72,737 litres of water in their lfifetime
  • One avergae, 13 people die every year from vending machines falling on them

WHAT IS THIS CRAP??? What do they think, hapless Aussie women sitting in the ladies at work with blood up to their knuckles (sorry boys, I lied) are just HAVING A LITTLE REST? LOOKING FOR A LITTLE BIT OF TRIVIA FOR DOWN AT THE PUB THAT WEEK? IN NEED OF A DOSE OF QUIRKY INFO? The company in questions has named this travesty "Odd Spots" to match their funky retro packaging no doubt. What is odd, is that any unexpected or unwanted bleeding (ie. during pregnancy) is generally referred to as "spotting".


24 August 2004

clockmaking as cultural commentary

Have you ever looked up in the Queen Victoria Building? There are two clocks suspended from the ceiling and from underneath they just look like blobs of Edwardian kitsch. Go up to the first floor and their true nature is revealed. One clock is shaped like a castle, which is pretty boring. The other has 6 sides each featuring a colonial diorama, eg convicts and the lash, settlers, explorers etc. And circling around the dioramas, on a never ending loop, is a bewildered looking Aboriginal warrior. With spear. Stuck far away from the wealth of the squatter and his sheep, the tasty bread, the barrels of rum, condemned forever to circle in view but never get close enough to be dangerous.

Maybe it's just cos I have a lot of time on my hands these days, but I think there's an unintended metaphor in that clock.

23 August 2004

A Link

My compadre, a Comedian who has a solo show in Melbourne. Go you good thing.

I have updated this thing we call profile. But I worry that blogger wants to be livejounrnal. And am now nervous that I shall pick up the habits of a whiny student goth. Oh, who said that? Never fear readers your Aunty B shall be ever-vigilant, and steadfastly keep herself nice.

Oh, and yesterday some blonde chick had a little lie down in a boat. (We call them "power naps" in this neck of the woods). Suddenly its all terribly important to half of Australia - well those that pick what stories to run on 4 corners seem to guess its top of our viewing prioity list. Nyeh, I think I'm missing something. Also my glamourous housemate tells me that the ladies baths are very crowded this week for her early morning swim. The attendant explains "Oh its the Olympics, it willl quieten down in a week or two, this happened last time as well". Ha ha hardy har.

11 August 2004

Chick Patrol

Betty Sue and Wideyed Kid - Back. On. Line. And all is again righted in the world. Oh and I think the term "bully" is a tad harsh. How about "tenacious"..?

10 August 2004

Oh, that?

The last post, that was just my new art movement. There'll be a new website coming soon. And a manifesto (of course). I hear you shiver with anticipation.

6 August 2004

Busted apart - ready to be put back together.

Its on. Tonight - first push. Fragmentism is the new social code. It's behind the news, behind our habits. We're all chatting away in our cells, dissembling, de-coding, fragmenting, re-piecing and re-assembling. Take it from me, there are so many fragments out there in the world its a fundamental law of phyics that they will soon coalese. And why not be one of those moulding the whole big papier mache mess into a shape that makes some more sense than our non-sensical metier? Or less sense. Take your pick. Dean's cafe, street of the Kellet clan, Kings X, founded 1849. After the dark, before the light.

5 August 2004

Dust off your sonic screwdriver

The BBC is making a new series of Dr Who. They confirmed yesterday that, yes, it will feature daleks after the beeb won a legal wrangle with the estate of the guy who designed them. Dr Who will be played by Christopher Eccleston who has been in a bunch of British dramas, 28 Days Later and Existenz. Yippeee. I hope they don't screen it when I'm at school, I mean, work.

4 August 2004

I got ...

Paaantiiess. Yee hah ! Many (vertical) smiles. Whoever thought of the panty exchange was a dead-set genius.

Oh and last night I saw The Corporation. Tell your friends, yadda yadda.

1 August 2004

oh yeah and just one more thing..

nb. Currently making up for recent laxity of communication with every-bloody-body (you know who you are - I've been totally crap), and also noticed that Miss J is approaching the number of posts on Sea Green as made on B&W which just can't happen*.

Two most recent videos watched... Lair of the White Worm - compulsary viewing for Hugh Grant fans - one of his earlier roles in a Ken Russel shlock horror pastishe with a terrible script, confused editing and the most unlikely aparagus shaped dildo you've ever seen. .. and School of Rock - with some good natured and g-rated laughs. Worth it for Joan Cusak. Why doesn't she get any lead comedy roles?

*Possibly beacause my main contributing author has finshed having frustrating but highly amusing inter-continental adventures for a while...

Nannas unite!

I was at the local small supermaket today at approximately 10.45am on a Sunday. This is clearly student hour. Of the other people in the queue, were:

a) a chick in her pyjamas and ugg boots buying only white bread.
b) another young lass in black jeans, hole "celebrity skin" tee-shirt and the most astounding bed hair, buying instant macaroni, 3 bottles of V and a pink acrylic beanie.
c) me, having showered and dressed, buying Dr harry's kitty litter (its recycled!), damp absorber, cat food, fresh orange juice and dolmades.

When did this happen? I think it was while I was reading the business section of the newspaper. It'll be ABC 702 next at this rate.
Aunty B ventures into the world of economics

One dry article from the business review weekly about Australia being short-sighted in its economic choices.

And another from John Quiggin's blog who also writes for the Fin Review about the Greens economic policy being quite sensible and wise.

What does this mean? Well its probably an indication of how the daily toil of one BSharp has taken a turn of a more "serious" (read "mainstream") nature. Ie. I now need to read bits of the goddam fin review. But every now and then in the depths of the arcane writings on debt-to-equity ratios and economic growth and other mythologies, you find a little kernel of truth. If you can't be bothered clicking on the above, and quite frankly I don't blame you I'd rather clean the bathroom with my tongue, the top one says that our short horizons mainly based on election wins make us make dud choices when it comes to the, er, prosperity of our nation. And I think I use the word prosperity in the broadest sense here - like how much fun we're having not just how much everyone earns. And while I only profess to understand half the words, and I don't hold truck with that line about how not saving is really really bad, I think this is kinda interesting:

"The real issue is the excessive diversion of funds into property speculation and consumption spending, from the conventional priorities of investment in infrastructure, business and sustainable employment. That capital deficit is made up by loans and equity investment from foreigners."

Which I think means everyone rushing off to buy houses as their biggest investment ever are ripping themselves off, because its not really long term investment for the individual (the payback is only a couple of percent in the end) and definitley not an investment in Australia's pool of finances, either because all the mortages are kind of bundled up and raffled off overseas. I knew it. Ha- renters - not a second class, but holding the whole economy together.