A spot of..

Yesterday I discovered possibly the worst example of crack-addled thinking to emerge from that mire we call "marketing". You may be aware of that the humble sanitary pad has an adhesive strip on one side. This is simply to keep the thing stuck in your knickers, (don't panic any boys reading this I promise not to mention any bodily functions). Anyway, to expose the gluey bit one peels off a piece of paper not unlike those on the flaps of the more expensive line in business envelopes. One brand which shall remain nameless has decided, no doubt after a brainstorm by some marketing genius living in Double Bay, to adorn this piece of paper with what can only be described as "trivia". Each strip has approximately 8 items on it, reminiscent of the bit of paper inside your hat in a Christmas cracker, of the following calibre:

• The King of Hearts is the only king without a moustache
• The largest number of children born to one woman is 69 in Russia
• The average human will drink about 72,737 litres of water in their lfifetime
• One avergae, 13 people die every year from vending machines falling on them

WHAT IS THIS CRAP??? What do they think, hapless Aussie women sitting in the ladies at work with blood up to their knuckles (sorry boys, I lied) are just HAVING A LITTLE REST? LOOKING FOR A LITTLE BIT OF TRIVIA FOR DOWN AT THE PUB THAT WEEK? IN NEED OF A DOSE OF QUIRKY INFO? The company in questions has named this travesty "Odd Spots" to match their funky retro packaging no doubt. What is odd, is that any unexpected or unwanted bleeding (ie. during pregnancy) is generally referred to as "spotting".

Idiots.