26 December 2003

Return of the King Review

Its not really a spoiler, there were a lot of "man tears" in this movie. Here's how all those LOTR blokes rated in the crying stakes.

Top billing for man tears : David Wenham (Faromir). Definitely most convincing display. Father..you love my brother more than me. But then I am a bit biased towards Diver Dan.
Best Man tears cutting through a dirty face: Samwise Gamgee. Did they put onions in his face?
Best stoic choking back of man tears: Viggo Mortenson (Aragorn Son of Arathorn). Well, his girlfriend was dying, kind of.
Most gratuitous man tears: Those other two hobbits upon being separated for a few days. And then again at being united. Was I missing something about their relationship?
Best welling in joy with everything turning out good in the end (whoops sorry): Ian McKellen (Gandalf). Ah old man tears - super.
Most ashamed at shedding man tears: Again to Samwise, whatever the actor's name is, when his l'il buddy turns him away on that nasty staircase. Good head-in-hands action on that one. Quite convincing.
Least convincing man tears: Frodo Baggins. Did they digitally enhance that man's eyes? .. looked too much like a CGI character for my liking
Most frequent man tears .. you guessed it .. S. "I can't carry the ring but I can carry you" Gamgee.

In my expereince you have to work pretty hard to get a bloke to cry. 'Specially an Aussie bloke. I suppose the fellowship were faced with destruction of the whole world, eternal bondage into evil and death of all their loved ones. Any blokes out there reading this, feel free to email me your opinion. Of the movie, of course.

24 December 2003


What is it about the things that allow (nay, encourage) fully grown adults to just stare at them, sigh, perhaps make some cooing noise and then go completely bloody silent? I watched this happen today to five grown-ups (myself included) not once, but several times. I like to think that I could snap out of the reverie a bit faster than the others. Being the only single one (it wasn't hard was it ... you do the maths) among them.

Does every recent breeder go a bit soggy in the head for a while? I mean its really nice for a while, but kinda hard to sustain any interaction with your mates, as there seems to be few thoughts ticking over outside keeping the new human alive for the next 20 minutes or so. And talking about other family babies and pairings. Deary me, must be an evolutionary thing.

Aunty Bee (with L plates).

23 December 2003

Deck the halls

Yes, its been a while. Soon to get private internet access. Very soon.

Ooh, just saw that Betty has been making secret late-night posts. How exciting.
Mate.. Consumption as recreation? Only when you have no actual need of the goods. Then it is fun to buy.

And too old to crash with friends? Never. If they don't let me stay, well then do they really fit the definition?

I because I am a slave to chronology, so: The things that stay in the memory of the last 2 weeks.

Homebake: “Like dying flies on a pin/ In the heat and in the din”. This year the majestic Mr Cave managed to make me feel like one of those moths from my second year Zoology prac. Pinned to a board and only able to flutter ineffectually and blink in time to the music.

Saddam Hussein: Notice how perfectly the raid was timed so that they squeezed him out of that bolt hole had an examination, identification, organised an international press conference, and statements from Washington, all just in time for the breakfast broadcast in the US. Fifteen hours from capture to media. Notice how the cut of the video they used was timed to dramatic perfection, cut to a millisecond’s precision to extract a gasp from any viewer, as he turned matted messy head from the wall, to face the camera. The US military is the best media machine in the entire world.

Work stuff. Betty Sue is gone! My partner in crime, compadre, and understand-er of the many layers of life, cognition and other people. Its just a stinky office with the usual beige computers, pine desks and small-minded automatons now. Happy Christmas, Betty Sue, send me funny posts from the subcontinent. OR ELSE.

My bikini wax (okay so these highlights are in no way related). Three words. She drew blood. She drew blood, for Christ’s sake. That’s not beauty. That’s not grooming. That’s gross. And it’s uneven. Enough said. Unsurprisingly, I was appalled.

Men: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, they turn around and act almost unbearably sweet and all human (and fallible) on you. How do they manage that?

Adelaide: Everything changes, everything the same. They really are a pack of groovers down here. S. Archer is taking a break from the cube farm so we may not hear from her for a bit. However, hopefully we shall share a bevvy or two in the near future.

ho ho ho everyone. Make sure you get pissed at the expense of your family. Now that's the real spirit of Christmas.

18 December 2003

Random questions of the day (or night):
Is there an age at which it no longer seemly to beg floorspace from one's friends in order to avoid hotel bills?
Hope not....

Also, how do people shop for recreation? Shopping today made me so mad that I nearly killed a woman in a wheelchair because she cut in front of me. Hot weather, mums with prams, tourists, wind, jingle-fuckin-bells...

random late night musings....

2 December 2003

"Just because it’s Prada, does it make your night more fun?"
Well, Aunty Bee, you may find your answer on girlyshit.

The only way to have a matching bag is to have boring shoes. Not an option.

I'm really in too frivolous a mood to answer your more existential questions.