26 December 2003

Return of the King Review

Its not really a spoiler, there were a lot of "man tears" in this movie. Here's how all those LOTR blokes rated in the crying stakes.

Top billing for man tears : David Wenham (Faromir). Definitely most convincing display. Father..you love my brother more than me. But then I am a bit biased towards Diver Dan.
Best Man tears cutting through a dirty face: Samwise Gamgee. Did they put onions in his face?
Best stoic choking back of man tears: Viggo Mortenson (Aragorn Son of Arathorn). Well, his girlfriend was dying, kind of.
Most gratuitous man tears: Those other two hobbits upon being separated for a few days. And then again at being united. Was I missing something about their relationship?
Best welling in joy with everything turning out good in the end (whoops sorry): Ian McKellen (Gandalf). Ah old man tears - super.
Most ashamed at shedding man tears: Again to Samwise, whatever the actor's name is, when his l'il buddy turns him away on that nasty staircase. Good head-in-hands action on that one. Quite convincing.
Least convincing man tears: Frodo Baggins. Did they digitally enhance that man's eyes? .. looked too much like a CGI character for my liking
Most frequent man tears .. you guessed it .. S. "I can't carry the ring but I can carry you" Gamgee.

In my expereince you have to work pretty hard to get a bloke to cry. 'Specially an Aussie bloke. I suppose the fellowship were faced with destruction of the whole world, eternal bondage into evil and death of all their loved ones. Any blokes out there reading this, feel free to email me your opinion. Of the movie, of course.

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