12 November 2006

About your face

There are some lovely things about living by yourself and some not-so-lovely parts. Like, for example, when you spend all morning tidying the flat, dancing to Juanes then singing along in bad phonetic Spanish to various Tango classics, enjoying the the sea breeze making the indoors all fresh and breezy, and pretending you're actually in Montevideo. That's nice. Then you go outside with a giant bag full of dirty clothes for the laundromat, and decide to take advantage of a bit of time to ask the hair-dresser across the road how much a half head of foils and a blow dry would cost ($135 in case you're wondering, I live in la-la-land).

Yesterday at about 11 am, the hair dressing girls were sitting around doing nothing, and I was vaguely considering trying to muscle in for an appointment there and then if the price was right. The conversation went a bit like this:

BSharp: Hi, I just wanted to know what you'd charge for a half-head of foils?
Bleached blonde hairdresser: With a cut?
BSharp: No, just a blow dry thanks. (At this point you need to imagine my unwashed and unbushed heavily layered hair that is kind of coiling around my sunnies on one side, and pointing out at right angles on the other)
BBH: So what are you doing with it at the moment, darl? Do you style it often?
BSharp: Er, sometimes, it was actually cut recently. (I hate the way hairdressers always say that. I push on and start to explain my exciting plan for a kind of corporate/punk hairdo)
BBH: Right, well I would do that just a bit at the ends, but then I would blend it up with the top section too, and sweetheart you've got toothpaste on your face.
BSharp (thinking): No, the whole point is to create a line, dammit, you are so not getting it ."What?" (Looks in mirror, rubbing at one side of mouth. Yes I really do.)
BBH: Oh, there on both sides
BSharp: Haha, I guess thats what happens when you're alone all morning. Thanks!
BBH: That's ok, I do it all the time (Lie), I just thought you'd want to know before going outside
BSharp: Yeh, thanks, well I've got to do my laundry now, bye!

Aside from the outrageous price I can clearly never show my face in there again. So I went for an eyebrow wax instead which is cheaper and fulfils the desire to look a bit tidy on return of my peripatetic boyfriend from a four-month work trip. So aside from all those other nice love-nest things, I'm very exciting about having Biz back to tell me if I have two giant white blobs of goo on either side of my smile, before leaving the house each day.


Betty Sue said...

Hehehe, even if you never go back there again, every time you walk past one hairdresser will say to the other "Hey Shelley, there goes that toothpaste girl".

With me, it's usually pen on my face, because I wave my hands about a lot. No-one ever tells me

BSharp said...

Of course her name would be Shelly. Or Taryn.

J said...

OMG that's hilarious. Did she really call you sweetheart when she broke the news to you?? I feel like I was there. My new housemates probably think I'm bonkers - I just guffawed very loudly from the kitchen and they are tucked up in bed.

J said...

PS If I had shiny straight hair I think I'd be going with a Tokyo Boy mullet. As i don't I'm going for hippy-corporate coz it's the only thing I can do. Hairdressers are so mean about us non-stylers.

BSharp said...

Well she was one of those ladies who insert darl or hun or love or sweetheart every second sentence, so it was one of those. There was definitely an affectionate diminutive in there, that for sure. It was absolutely crushing.

meririsa said...

As someone who so rarely goes for a wax/haircut/style or other such treatment, I DREAD the affectionate diminutive from the professionals in the beauty industry!! It transforms me from a confident headstrong woman to a babbling teenager who worries she won't be in the In Crowd!! Amazing, isn't it?
ps If I eat chocolate, I often seem to have bits in the corner of my mouth, which reveals me as not only a Grott, but also a Pig. But once at a work dinner (complete with farmers and my boss's boss, I sneezed half chewed up lettuce all over my chest and noone told me - must have been there 10 or so minutes before I discovered it in the bathroom mirror!!

J said...

oh that is so unfair, I have now blown my cover of 'terribly busy and typing' by snorting at my desk. Could you ladeez all please try not to be so funny???